If you managed to end up on this site, chances are you really enjoy video games. That’s cool. A lot of people do, including myself.
I mean, video games often tell compelling stories. Tales of triumph. Descriptions of despair. All while placing you at the helm. It’s an experience.
Do y’all know what story video games tell the most? I’ll help: The story of resistance. From the non-unionized plumber to the washed-out commando, it’s up to your goofy ass to guide them to glory in the face of some oppressive, existential threat. You spend minutes, hours, days, months, sometimes years fighting this threat while absorbing all the information which makes that threat, well…threatening. Video games will have you picking up themes faster than Orwell at a Black Lives Matter rally. And when you win? Whew, is it ever satisfying. I mean, you deadass saved the world. It’s a good feeling, so remember it.
Remember it when you put the stick down. Remember it when you set aside your keyboard and mouse. Remember it when you take the headset off and do whatever it is you do next.
Because what you do next doesn’t make any fucking sense.
What you do next is stand idly by while your friends and families buy into the idea that the Mushroom Kingdom is for Koopas and Koopas only. What you do next is ignore Dracula’s once-in-a-century call to reject all the light in the world because heaven forbid you have to suffer through Simon’s Quest again. What you do next is tell anything with ears how rock type you are while your water partners are fighting for their lives against incendiary after incendiary. What you do next is let M. Bison cook because you don’t want the headache of fighting Balrog, Vega, and Sagat.
What you do next is vote for Senator fucking Armstrong.
Yet, as per the Twitter adage: Life comes at you fast.
While you were busy making sure you don’t die, you forgot everyone isn’t a Koopa. You forgot the purpose of Castlevania is to expand Dracula’s turf. You forgot once partners die, they don’t come back. You forgot Bison is literally powered by hate. And now? Senator Armstrong is poised to eliminate anyone who gets in the way of his bottom line with nanomachines and a smile.
You’re probably typing furiously before reaching the end of this article. “THAT’S NOT TRUE!”, hammers the raging keyboard. Fine, I’ll bite. Maybe I’m wrong. But before I walk, let me pose to you a simple question: Do you take the time speak with *every* non-playable character in your quest?
I ask because most people don’t. NPCs generally have nothing to say and it’s a waste of time. Right?
Well, if you have to speak with an NPC, it should always be the ones closest to the entrance. Why? Simple: Being right at the gate, they’re naturally the first to see what’s coming. But if you never take the time to see what they have to share, you’ll discover they were the first to go down swinging when you read the record of how your village ended up like this…
If you won’t be a hero when playtime is over, at least put some damn seasoning on that fried rat for fuck’s sake.
We’re monsters, not savages.